....The
single tear was like a river and she drank and drank and drank until her
many-years-long thirst was slaked. While lying beside him, she reached inside
the sleeping man and took out his heart, the mighty drum. She sat up and banged
on both sides of it: Bom Bomm!…..Bom Bomm! As she drummed, she began to sing
out “Flesh, flesh, flesh! Flesh, Flesh, Flesh!” And the more she sang, the more
her body filled out with flesh. She sang for hair and good eyes and nice fat
hands. She sang the divide between her legs, and breasts long enough to wrap for
warmth, and all the things a woman needs. And when she was all done, she also
sang the sleeping man’s clothes off and crept into his bed with him, skin
against skin.....
“Skeleton
Woman”©1992, 1995 by Clarissa Pinkola Estés… from Women Who Run with the Wolves, Ballantine/ Random House, New York
On July 2016
I found myself in the beautiful city of Ljubliana in Slovenia for the program Facing the stree/Apis Institute. It was a very special time in my
personal life and I was in a situation of personal ‘reconstruction’. So here I
am in an uknown country, for a few days in a situation of query and escape.
I met many interesting people but most of all I was touched by the freedom of
expression that I witnessed in some of those.
Especially one night, when I was at a drag queen show I felt a profound
jealousy.
Yes, jealousy.
I was jealous of those men, particularly the men, who with a brave and playful
attitude deconstructed their ‘maleness’ as we have known it and claimed a
harmonical relationship with their female side.
I was jealous. I pulled out my very own tired and somehow opressed female
nature back in Greece full of questions and awakening.
I wanted to feel this freedom. And the courage to always show what I am,
anywhere. Without stereotypes and without ‘must’s’.
I wanted to know more about the trans community in general and in particular.
I tried some time to come into contact with some people but nothing was working
out. Until my friend George referred me to Anna.
`Would Anna like to talk to me and show me her self and her life?` Since Anna is a very famous
trans activist and artist in Greece.
Anna wanted to. Very willingly.
And a cup of coffee brought the next one and the next thing I know, she has
opened her house to me, sharing her personal life, sharing her dark moments.
And I understood. That the price paid for what is hidden between the legs
of women is «heavy». It is...unbearable.
Whichever the history of a female body, it carries pain, opression, fear and
restriction.
Especially for women like Anna that carry the weight of proving more than once
their identity.
Women ‘by choice’ very often are led to prostitution as the only nornamal
choice and refuge.
Anna is bittered that she wasn’t able to study. She likes literature. But back
then, the only choice for trans women was one. Prostitution.
But all this
is the negative side.
Whatever the history of a female body, it can, despite the pain, continue to
care, hug and love others.
And that is exactly what Anna is doing.
From restriction and mere possibilities, social exclusion, streets and drugs, from detention and violence that she received from state officers,and the very sad and harsh experience of rape, Anna ended up being an activist for the rights of trans women and women sexworkers.
Anna is now a
columnist in many popular informative pages, such us Protagon and Nostimon imar and has written a book based on her
experiences, and works in the HIV positive organisation, «Positive Voice» in their program for sex workers: «Red Umbrella».
She is also a member at the Transgeder association and is claiming a better future for women
like her and also for every women that carries the weight of beauty and power
of being a woman.
You have armed me with courage.
To be a woman.
